Joy and pain

Christmas was good but not great.We did the usual,go to my grandmother's place till the evening then shot over to the grandparents' place.Dinner over there was as usual-boring..I texted Nicholas and also Mahira wayyy over in NZ because of a story my dad made up which made me paranoid.It involved him and Mahira..This time mahira finally got my msg and replied.


On boxing day I drank quite a few glasses of Margarita..yumm.
I tried Samoka or something like that-yuck

On Christmas day,I cried-hard.
On Boxing day,I cried-hard.
Today,I've silently let a tear or two fall while in church and at home..we'll see if I cry hard again for the third night since I found out.

The news?
He left.Probably gone for good..without my email add or his email add to me,he left.All hope lies on a friend back there who might or might not have the important email I need.He left still as sweet as ever,telling her how much he misses me,and how he thinks I am.Sweet.AND HOW MCUH HE WANTS MY EMAIL ADD,my cousin didn't give it to him because?jst tak sempat bagi. :(
Thnks anyway..now help me again rara.
I still remember how he looks,his smile,his face when he's thinking..that cheeky look on his face.OMG..I was so lucky.I shouldn't have left NZ..I shouldn't have.Now look at me..miserable again and longing for a single line that will make me happy again.
I'm trying to stay positive,trying to hope that Daniel will be able to help me..at the same time I want to return to that country which I said I would never return to..That was then,after nearly half the year there I finally realized how much I liked it there and the people I've met.It's crazy,..I had to leave,I asked for it and I got it.
:(

It's my own fault.

Writing this now makes me feel like crying again.It's sad that things had to happen at the last minute.It's so..I don't know.I don't get it at times but I'm happy that it happened.
Now all I can do is hope,and pray..

Daniel you're my only hope..
Mahira,ur so lucky and I'm so terribly jealous.
R,I miss you.How I wish you had FB,that would have been easier.
:(

Till next time.
I hope the next post will be me bringing good new.
Pray for me too..hope for the best.
I need it.
:(

Imissyouuu~