Am I happy?I guess but nothing has happened to make me feel that way.I touched down on that Friday night..and ever since it's been cleaning and worrying and lot's more that doesn't involve having fun and relaxing.
I haven't been blogging much huh..been kinda busy with friends,family and a certain guy..who hasn't been in contact with me since the day I left him at the sidewalk. :(
I miss him so bloody much and there's nothing I can do about it.
I think I might be going back to Nz to do Uni..I really don't mind.First,the education and life is much better there and second it might give me another chance with him..if it's possible I'll take that chance.
Anyway..let's share more sad stories shall we?
So i've been in NZ and usually I don't eat so much but as it got colder and I got happier I started eating more.I am not FREAKING HUGE till u can't recognise me but yes my cheeks are now more puffy.Since the day I landed at Klia till yesterday,all i've been hearing is "eh so fat ar now,put on weight already".
First was my dad..he said i'm "prosperous" already.
Then my aHmah..my dad's mom.When she saw me she said "Eh put on weight already ar" but sui ar still. :(
Thanks for the compliment after the insult ahmah..
So right after that I got pissed and didn't talk much.I then decided not to go out at all till i lose abit of weight.However..my lovely parents decided to make a trip to my other grandmother's hse.wtf
My aunt saw me and said i'm still the same only thing different is i'm fat now.I smiled and walked away..then she saw me standing by myself staring outside and asked if i was angry..I ofcourse said NO.I tell you,if they weren't ppl that I sayang a lot,I would have gone all rude on them..sad hearing that over and over again.
My grandma was ok..she didn't say anything bad.Later my uncle came and said that i'm fat also and this time my bratty sis tambah tambah salt to my wound.
I was practically fighting the urge to yell at the both of them but didn't.Whenever he talked to me I don't talk back,jst gestures and shit only..
Later on my mom was with grandma,I walked by and then she said that my grandma thinks I look really nice..I jst hmm then went to the hall and then I don't know..tears jst started pouring out.
My dad came to comfort me with the littlest effore possible.My big bro was like "chill la lynn"..and bratty sis was asking me what the hell is wrong with me.I could have kicked her on the spot if I wasn't a good.
But then it was dinner time..whn I wanted to put the spoon into my mouth I felt so fat and shitty for thinking that I should put food in my mouth after getting those remarks.I started to cry again..this time infront of them..oh my uncle wasn't there already ofcourse.My aunt came and asked why I'm crying..My gosh..why is it so difficult for them to figure it out.They probably think it's because of some guy as usual.Ish
So I've lost weight since I left..but then it's not enought I suppose.Before this I was always underweight and now that my weight is well enough for my height,it's not good for anyone else.I'm damn sad,I don't know why they are like that..they make jokes about me and my weight as though I don't have feeling and whateve they say about me won't hurt me at all..some family they are.
I'm going off.Enough of sharing my sob stories.
I'm still waiting for you,
a call,a text,an e-mail..
anything will do as long as u jst contact me.
I miss you.
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