Pure boredom

listening to:Love Lockdown by Kanye West
Reason?I have no idea..I craved for him?

I'm so bored!

I checked out people's blog already.So what am I to do now?I'm so bored!
Today was an unproductive day. I went over to my Grandmother's house,watched my aunt cook her yummy bihun,then eat and eat and eat and of course do my usual..talk a lot.

So after reading blogs I decided to search for lyrics and start singing songs that are on the pc.Fun okay.I used to do this almost everyday after SPM was over.This was also my way to wake my brother up especially since I turn up the volume. :D

song:Let it rock.
Reason?I feel like it..pumping sikit ok.

Yesterday I met up with the two best friends,Ashraf and Alana. Kidnapped Alana from her house in the afternoon and headed to SACC Mall since I couldn't go too far.We had Nando's and talked and gossipped.I tell u that Ashraf has a lot of stories to tell me. In the car we ended up talking about gross movies like 40year old virgin,Good Luck Chuck..I think u can tell what I'm trying to say here.Well yeah so that was the topic on the way home.That and the whole "I 'cant' and "I'm coming". (think negatively here)

Ash is now back in Kuala Pilah,hang in there!
3 mths left.
I miss them already
:(

We got to have our movie day soon alright?

Oh I met up with a couple of old friend too.
Nina,Ninah,Zureen!ah the crazy girls.
I miss you guys..they haven't changed one bit.Went to Secret Recipe here at our area.It was the same as always,the greeting,then the raba raba session.Yes,since we met till now they all still love raba-ing each other..

Looking into the pass...

Kathleen: (standing in front of class)
Zureen: :) Hi Kath..(slaps Kath's boobs)..hahahahah (runs)
Kathleen: -___________-!

Now u see why the guys will come sit next to them?
Gatal nye la.

Ash and Alana
:)

goodnight!

One hectic weekend

Am back from Kuantan..
I'll talk about it later.

Time keeping at futsal soon. :) (thts all I can do)

thanks to my dear friends who bothered to teman me!
u know who u are.

Here I come

Kuantan Tomorrow! :)

What should I do?

She said: Lynn,I don't think he has it to be honest..and I don't think I should keep asking him.Why don't u call him and ask?

Lynn:I think I just might..but he'll get angry with me..


What should I do?
My only hope in getting that single line rests on that friend's shoulders..He told me to give him time to get it and it has already been a mth.How long do u need?A year?A whole lifetime?

I'm sure they all want me to forget about him but I can't.I still wana be his friend..friends is enough.Even further would be better but I'l settle for that first.

I miss you so darn much.
why is it so difficult?

Because it's bad

I was suppose to go out with Douglas today but I didn't feel like it..So I ended up with Ashraf instead.haha
Went to his place at about 2something then started talking till nearly 5plus.Gosh we can really talk a lot.Just like Alana and I.Imagine if it was the three of us there.Oh my.
We talked,check pics and facebook..then watched Twilight.Finally!I watched Twilight.

Disappointed me really.I didn't like it.I didn't really pay attention...
Didn't like the actress,the actor looked like he was in pain all the time but at times was good.
Expected already la.

Anyway..
Ashraf told me this story of how in his campus,he would sleep with his hp on the floor near his bed.So once he realised that he would wake up with miss calls on his hp.When he checked his out going calls,he sees that he made calls while he was meant to be sleeping..scary!
Meaning he calls ppl when he's sleeping without knowing.Get it?
So he said once he called my dad(while sleeping)...and my dad called back in the morning or something like that but Ashraf didn't pick up la.My dad doesn't know it was him..hehe good thing.
It would have been weird kan?My dad would be wondering why Ashraf was calling him in the middle of the night.

My friend is weird.I'm weird,all of us are weird la in our own way..

Mid Valley with with the guy best friend and girl best friend.
Alana and Ashraf!

As I promised...but a day later :)

So the 16th was my 19th (shhh still 16 at heart) birthday. The day started out like any other day except ppl kept wishing me and hoping for good things to happen for me.Thanks ya.
Went out with mom for breakfast,lunch at home and then small little family dinner together.
Right after that we had the cutting of the cake and then we,my brothers and I cabut to meet the others at Vintry. :)

We were there before anyone else.My cousin who made the plans came later when she was the one who said be there at 8.45pm.Typical Malaysian timing eh.
Finally by early 9pm Sarah,Nicky and Steph came..hehe. Then soon later Douglas and Shaun came. (I don't know him but I let him come after he sang happy birthday to me.haha)

This year was great.It was a small celebration and I had family plus new friends with me.I wished all of my close friends could have been there though..would have been muchhhhh better. No worries,they all owe me an outing.

Right so where was I..well Vintry was kinda okay,the waiter and waitresses were kinda blur.*sorry*.Douglas asked the waitress if they have games and all that here since my cousin said they had,so here's how the convo went..


Douglas:"scuse me miss,do u have board games and all that here?

Waitress: (very blur but very certain) Yes,we have beer,wine,and water is free here.

Douglas:Huh?*stares*

Sarah an Shaun were nearby and heard the convo,they started laughing like mad people when they heard the response. Kesian the lady..she didn't know what was going on. She thought Douglas was asking for promo stuff or something like that I guess.

Douglas:I must have looked cheap lah.

So later,Russell,Sarah's bf came to pick Sarah and Nicky up for shisha.I didn't want to go so the rest of us excluding Steph decided to go listen to some music.The place,Backyard. My brothers and I pictured Backyard to be like an outdoor thing,with the band on the stage and just a nice atmosphere..when we got there..it looked like just another pub. Actually when we got in,it turned out ok..the place was packed...we had to stand in one corner,by the pool table to watch the band play. Standing nearby the band was great and all that but most of the time we had to make way for those who were playing pool..I don't get why they arranged the table that way.

Where's the common sense?Where's the creativity?

Overall I had a good time. Good music too. The lead singer came to introduce himself later on..nice guy (old d ok so stop picturing a hunky dude). The band finished playing at 3something in the morning and so we decided to have a drink..mamak was the next place.We left for home at early 4. :D
Haih.. seriously.It was normal yet so fun. I didn't get angry one bit on that day.Annoyed yes but not angry. Douglas is the only person who bought me a present..earrings.Good enough. Thnks hun.

Too bad lil Timmy couldn't be there.He had to wake up early the next day to watch his sister play in the futsal finals.Good boy.
Wish u were there though..so cute!

Pictures

My mud cake
My brother got it..why?
Matt:This is Rachel's favourite cake..that's why I got it. *smiles*
fyi,Rachel is his gf la.

At Vintry

Ben

Steph and Ben with my little birthday cake.
The whole group sang for me,haha
and those waiter and waitresses were smiling and pointing..
point what point?

Sarah and Douglas.

Nicky and Matt

with Sarah..


Now..Backyard.

Why so serious boys?
They were extra nice to me that day.

Douglas,Ben,Shaun,Matt.
lone ranger Kathleen out of the pic..

Douglas and I

I found his picture,
Thnks Mahirah.
but I found even more of his picture
so cute..so handsome.
I miss him!
:(
I still am waiting for that one line.
...email pls

Thank you to those who wished me.
Those on Facebook,Friendster, Myspace..
Some msged me personally and some called.
I appreciate it

Thnk you my old mates who did wish me as well.
Good to hear from my dear friend Farhana again.
:)

I had more people wishing me this year than ever!
That made my day even more.
Again..
Thank you for actually taking the time to wish me.
Oh and PuiHua..
Ur the very first to wish me..a day before.
haha.
Thanks.

I'm going to Kuantan!
Can't wait to see you guys.
Ker,I'll text u.

I promiseeee

Wait a little more..
pictures will be up when i'm not that lazy..which will be tmr.
I'm absolutely sure this time.

I'm now two teeth lighter
:)

It's my bday ya'll

My birthday!!
The first thought I had when my sister wished me was..hmm crap!19 already.
But I shall remain 16 till I hit 21 and then I shall be forever 21.
U hear me?

Now i'm in the same club as JitKin,Husna and erm..anyone else I know?
I've got tonnes of wishes already.Thank you!
Those kawans in NZ haven't wished me yet ae..i'm disappointed but the day hasn't ended yet.I will wait.

Oh I can't wait for tonight..I'm so praying that it'll be fun even though there aren't many people around for me but I'll make the most out of it.
I'm going to be happy,stay happy today..I shall not whine or whimper,I shall not cry unless it's happy tears,I shall not drool at guys unless it's R,I shall not drink unless it's an alcoholic beverage?haha this is too much.I kid you.

I had fun yesterday with Alana,Des,Zarul and Wilson (even though he was there for a lil while).It was really cool to be around u guys.I hope that can happen again.I'll miss Des,he's going to Switzerland and then England.Back on the 31st.
Not sure if he'll be going back to NZ this year as well.He has been accepted into the College but he's mom wants him to do something else now.Sheeshh!

I have pictures I tell you.I think I've said this in quite a few posts before but the pictures never do turn up.hehe.

Bare with this blog of words and no pictures for a while longer.I need to do a few things then I can upload . :)

Powderful blog

Wait la k.

Till tonight then.I shall blog more

:)

Happy Birthday to me!

I do wish I was there,

I wish I was with them all,

celebrating with them,

with him,

wish he and I were there too.

ish.

but i can only wish for it,

praying for it would be better.

I still miss you.Always will.

Alana,lend me your powerful praying ability..the one where all your prayers come true!

6hours of talking

I went over to Alana's house this morning and got home an hour or so ago.It was really nice to see her and talk to her again.
God!We talked so much..and moved a lot.We took it from the hall to the kitchen,back to the hall,kitchen, then upstairs.If this was a guy I was talking about I'm sure u guys would be thinking outside of the box ae.
We had lots to talk about.The things that happened last year to the pass.From what made us happy to what was wrong with our lives.

I'm so tired now.I couldn't sleep last night,had too much on my mind and was kinda scared at the thought of leaving home again even though I said I want to.I still do but the thought of it scares me.By the time I fell asleep I think it would have been around 2 something.Can tell by the way I look..my eye bags are terrible now.
I need to sleep.Right now I'm tempted to just shut my eyes and type this out.Rest is what I shall do after this.
Been having trouble sleeping..been getting stupid dreams and sometimes real heart breaking dreams of someone I haven't seen in awhile.
Stupid dreams.

Tomorrow I will be going out with Alana and Desmond.This is if Alana can manage to find a way to get to the mall and Des said he can so I'm hoping that's true.
Hey guys,bring ur camera with you.
I don't have any pics with u two..sad really.
I can't wait to see them both tmr.It'll be fun..even if it's only the three of us,things will be alright.Things are fun when I have them both with me.
My sayangs! :)

GIRLS GONE WILD tmr according to Des..lucky boy ae.

note to self: don't go to Des' house unless they lock the dog in a room.horny dog!

Afternoon post!

This is possibly going to be another post which highlights the complicated life I have...now u see why it's called lynnscomplications.

Well,I went for the Education Fair on Sunday and well as expected it was packed!I went for the same thing I think a year or two ago and that one was worst.
This time I knew what I wanted to do,where I wanted to look at and who to talk to.I surprised myself by having the guts to go up to people and talk.Before I was always so shy and need my dad there with me..but I realized that I am a changed person.I guess New Zealand changed me in more ways than one.My dad was proud as well,saying it's the exposure that I had in NZ,dealing with different people everyday that helped me gain confidence.

Mostly I asked questions,and gained enough info to help me.
So the best so far is Curtin Univesity in Sarawak.It's got what I want and I'll have the freedom to transfer even after one semester.If I transfer the Uni will transfer me to Curtin in Perth,Australia.
hm.I want to go to NZ..So my dad was thinking that I could jst do a year there in Sarawak then move myself to Otago.Good I suppose.It should be recognised there too.
So now it's either Curtin first or straight to Otago University.
Oh GOD!which is better?Go straight to NZ or stay a year here,gain experience here for a bit then go which will help my dad as well as it'll give him time to save money for the other two to three years of Uni I have left after the one year in Curtin..

My dad likes that Curtin seems high class and erm has a standard as a University.See,my dad doesn't want me to end up in a University that isn't good or go to a College that is not like one meaning like the classrooms are like going to high school like that or the lecturers are not good.He wants the best for me!
I understand that and I'm happy that he's that way.

So now..Curtin and Otago.
susah susah!
Any suggestions?
Save money for the one year or go straight and work my ass off while studying (which I already plan to do whenever I end up there).
Suggestions pls!

Ok so speaking of the Education Fair..guess who I saw there?
I was at the NZ booth,talking to the lady when this girl suddenly appeared on my left,talking to one of her friends.She I think didn't recognise me cos she looked at me but didn't say a thing..So I looked,smiled and said ,"KERRYN!".
hahahaha!
yes yes I met my old primary school mate,Kerryn Lum,one half of the Lum twins.Didn't get to see Karlisyle though but it was good seeing Kerryn again after god knows how long.
:)

I'm hoping to go down to Kuantan this CNY..wana see my old friends but I don't know who'll be around.
Kerryn..I promised I'll text u and I'll do that when I'm down in Kuantan k?
U havent changed much.. :)

Alana I want to see you!
I want to do crazy things with you..(sounded lesboish?)..no I mean watching stupid video and taking ugly pictures.haha..Melinda Doolittle! *our joke*
I'll call you I'll call you!

bye for now~

Ah so funny

Rmb I said Daniel left?
Well someone was pulling Mahira's leg,so it was all just a joke.ISH!
Nearly gave me a heart attack.

Alana,that msg on Facebook that u commented on was written on Xmas day.It's not there anymore what so why the comment?
I'm fine.I'll be fine.It's just one of those Kathleen episodes.

So back to me,hehe
Okay so I talked to my dad about NZ again,showed him the fees(my eyes were also bleeding ok) and the options I have if I don't pass the exam I sat for last year.(God I hope I passed).I need 42 credits with other requirements as well.It's not THAT easy especially since I only had a year to gain all those credits and didn't think that I needed anything much since at first the idea was doing Uni in Malaysia.
I wish I could turn back time,re-do certain things,do certain things differently and DO some important things *winks

Right.So tomorrow is yet another day.Oh I'm going to that Education Fair this weekend.Hopefully I'll get some info about the Uni I want to go to and the help I can obtain..especially financially.Money,can't live without em can we?

So plans for the weekend?
Movie with the family..or maybe with cousins and friends then the education fair.
I'm going to try to calm down,relax,and distress.
I'm going to stop looking and re looking at the uni website (I can't help myself though)
I'm going to find some kind of financial help for if I do end up going back to NZ.
I'm going to stop being so sad,try to look at things differently,stop being so negative and just make the most what I have now.

Des is back!I can't get in touch with him though.

:(

Till the next post.
I'll try my best to be much better than I am now.
Don't worry Alana..I'm fine!

Good things can happen in a new year.

The title was the title of David's msg in FB to me.
True,good things can happen but then bad things can as well.
I haven't been having the best new years for quite sometime.Every year,something will surely happen to upset me,or to make things worst for me.
Last year was really new for me in many ways,I met lots of nice ppl,true friends and some not so.I met an incredible guy who I've lost now..
Yes the latest news of the whole getting his e-mail through friends thing
...the guy who was suppose to get the e-mail for me,Daniel is now not working there anymore.Meaning..it'll be harder to get the info I want.I'm not sure why he has stopped working there,maybe he's going back to Brazil as well? :(
He is/was my only hope..he did say he can get it for me but I hv t o give him time..I still don't know how he was going to get it after I found out he doesn't have the e-mail..Going back to Brazil to get it for me ah?
I hope that's it k..He I think is going back to Brazil for the parade that they have every year,this is what R told me earlier on.

I still miss R so much.I still think about him..the very short time we had la.

What to do?I hope God is not punishing me for what happened.

I am not going to give up until there's really no hope,no news from Daniel anymore..then maybe I'll consider giving up.

I wonder what he's up to in Brazil now.I wonder about so many things.
One thing for sure,I shouldn't have left NZ..I should have stayed back and then I would have more time with him,obtain the bloody e-mail and everything else.

So I said I won't blog until good news comes or something better to talk about besides my sob stories arises right?

Well I guess I was wrong about that too.I don't know when I'll write better things.Soon la i think since my birthday is coming!

YES!I'm going to turn 19 really soon..16th of January ya'll.

Don't forget to wish me k.

Another K family dinner this weekend.

Can't wait to see the cousins again.

I need fun,I crave it amongst other things/(ppl :P)I crave.

I'm hopeful,yes I am.

I'm hopeful for today,it's not easy but that's ok.